Gospel singer Justina Syokau has opened up about the painful experiences she endured in her former marriage, revealing how a lack of support from her own mother made the situation even harder.
Speaking in a candid interview, Syokau shared that when she tried to walk away from the abusive relationship, her mother discouraged her from leaving, urging her instead to persevere out of fear of societal stigma.
Adding to her pain, Syokau said her mother-in-law showed little concern for her well-being, despite being aware of her husband’s infidelity. “In the Kamba community, being a single mother is often seen as failure and a source of shame. I remember one day I was sent away from my marital home, and even though my mother was present, she chose not to intervene,” she recounted.
She also described unsettling experiences with her mother-in-law, who would sometimes sit or even sleep in her bed. Whenever she complained, her husband would dismiss her feelings and openly side with his mother, which further strained the marriage.
Reflecting on her journey, Syokau advised young people to take time before rushing into marriage. “We are often encouraged to first pursue education, build a career, and then consider marriage. Many who marry young lack the maturity to handle its challenges. If I had waited, I might have avoided some of the hardships I went through,” she said.
Struggling with depression during her marriage, she longed for a supportive mother figure but eventually stopped trying to explain her struggles to people who could not understand. “I was so depressed and wished I had a mother who would stand up for me. At first, I would explain my situation, but when I realized people didn’t understand, I decided to let them believe whatever they wanted,” she revealed.
In her message to parents, Syokau urged them to stand up for their children instead of leaving them to suffer in silence. She acknowledged her late father-in-law as her only source of support, contrasting it with her ex-husband’s indifference. She recalled how he would casually dismiss her suffering, often telling her, “Nkichoka nirudi kwetu” — meaning, “When you get tired, you can go back to your family.”
