Jacinta Wambui; When I Sit Next To Men, My Rosecoco & Legs Become Weak

Jacinta Wambui, a 24-year-old woman originating from Kenya, possesses a distinctive outlook on life, particularly in regards to her sentiments and reflections concerning the male gender. Her perspective diverges significantly from that of many women within her age group….CONTINUE READING

Courageously, Jacinta has chosen to confront a condition that has cast a formidable shadow of anxiety over her daily interactions with men. She acknowledges that these encounters, inevitable as they are, trigger an unusual fear within her.

This psychological condition, she attributes to her early years, describing it as a battle she has waged since childhood. Jacinta articulates her experience, stating, “At times, I contemplate how I can carry a sign that reads, ‘I don’t want to talk to anyone,’ because wherever I go, many people inquire why I am so quiet. The situation I am grappling with is incredibly challenging.”

The realm of fear that Jacinta navigates is professionally termed ‘androphobia,’ defined by mental health experts as a fear related to people or anything associated with them. Additionally, Jacinta wrestles with the difficulty of socializing in the manner that others do.

Initiating conversations or engaging in any form of dialogue poses a significant challenge for her. “There’s a distinction between being shy and having a condition like mine, where I experience extreme anxiety around people. I’ve steered clear of crowded places as much as possible.

When avoidance is not an option, my body starts trembling, and my heart races at an unusually fast pace. It’s as if I break into a sweat when there’s no escape,” Jacinta explains.

This condition has profoundly impacted her life, hindering her from pursuing romantic relationships and forming friendships with men or those in her age group. Everyday activities, such as eating in public, become a struggle, accompanied by constant anxiety when under scrutiny.

Jacinta elaborates, “My life has been marked by loneliness. Even now, I cannot date or be considered part of my age group due to the fear that envelops me. For instance, eating when people are watching becomes an ordeal. If I must go to a restaurant, I seek out a place where I can face the wall.”

The question arises: why does she harbor fear towards all men? Jacinta Wambui responds, “The fear I have towards men has impacted me so profoundly that, at the age of 24, I’ve never been in a relationship, never courted, and I’ve started contemplating how I’ll survive alone.”

She confesses that her lack of romantic involvement with men is not due to their lack of interest; rather, she actively avoids their advances. “I can count up to 15 to 20 men who pursued me for relationships, but when they approach me, I evade them swiftly. Some may perceive me as shy, but it’s a severe fear of all men.”

Jacinta perceives men as threats, a perception that causes her to instinctively withdraw from them. Even male family members, such as cousins and uncles, are not exempt from her avoidance behavior. She has never had a male friend throughout her entire life, including those she works with.

Haunted by childhood experiences, especially an incident of sexual assault that remained unaddressed, Jacinta traces the origins of her fear. “This whole situation stems from abuse. I perceive men as threats, as if my mind has been conditioned to view all men as potential harm-doers. Even in interactions, I feel distant and detached. I struggle to engage in normal conversations for long; physically present, but mentally elsewhere,” Jacinta explains.

Initially oblivious to the impact of the childhood abuse on her future, Jacinta began questioning her irrational fear of men. She realized that one should not inherently fear an entire gender but acknowledges that the lack of psychological and emotional support during those traumatic times has led to severe consequences in her life.

After years of internal struggle, Jacinta had a breakthrough moment where she recognized the need for help. A relative connected her with a psychologist, and she commenced the journey of addressing her fears and anxieties. Seeking professional help was a challenging decision due to the stigma surrounding mental health in Africa, but it marked a turning point in her life.

Reflecting on her progress, Jacinta acknowledges the tremendous strides she has made in overcoming her fears, anxieties, and phobias, transitioning from a timid high school girl to her present self. Although still on the path to healing, she is no longer solely defined by her past struggles.