Finding a woman who willingly supports her husband marrying a second wife is exceptionally rare, especially in today’s society, where monogamy is the norm. However, Dr. Doris Nyokangi, a Kenyan woman battling cancer, made an extraordinary and selfless decision to allow her husband to remarry—but with one strict condition.
After being diagnosed with cancer, Dr. Nyokangi became deeply concerned about the future well-being of her husband and children. Understanding that her illness would hinder her ability to care for them, she made an unparalleled act of love and foresight. She proposed that her husband consider taking a second wife to avoid loneliness in his later years. However, she stipulated one vital condition: he was not to remarry until their youngest daughter had graduated from university.
“One evening, I told my husband: ‘Baba Watoto, when I am gone, please consider getting married again so that you do not suffer from loneliness,’” she recounts in her book, When Health Slips Away: A Twelve-Year Journey with Lung Cancer. This decision was rooted in her desire to spare her husband the isolation she had witnessed her father endure after her mother’s death. Married since 1982, the couple shared four children, and Dr. Nyokangi’s concern for her family’s future drove her to this profound decision.
Dr. Nyokangi’s journey with cancer began in 2012 when she first experienced symptoms. While attending her sister’s burial in Kenya, she described feeling a peculiar sensation, as though liquid was dripping from the right side of her chest down to her stomach. The pain was so intense that it disrupted her visit and appetite. Soon after, she flew to South Africa, where she had medical coverage, to seek treatment. It took nearly a year for doctors to diagnose her with lung cancer.
The news of her diagnosis was devastating, both physically and emotionally. “Hearing this news was physically and emotionally draining. The stories I had heard about chemotherapy only added to my fear, anxiety, and uncertainty,” she shares. From 2014, she underwent five cycles of chemotherapy and four radiation therapy sessions. The grueling treatments left her body frail, with significant weight loss and a pale complexion, making her believe she was nearing the end of her life.
Despite these challenges, Dr. Nyokangi’s resilience and determination shone through. By 2018, her cancer had returned, necessitating additional chemotherapy sessions. However, her perseverance paid off. Today, six years later, she is cancer-free, with no evidence of the disease.
Reflecting on her experience, Dr. Nyokangi admits that denial initially hindered her ability to cope with her diagnosis. “I stayed too long in denial, and that’s why I even wrote my eulogy because I thought I was dying. Later, when I accepted my condition, I moved out of denial and started being positive,” she explains.
Now, as a cancer survivor, Dr. Nyokangi dedicates her time to educating others on how to relate to cancer patients, using her personal journey to offer insight and hope. Between 2015 and 2023, she served as a lecturer at Egerton University, but her current focus is on advocacy and public education. Through her efforts, she continues to inspire others with her story of courage, resilience, and unwavering love for her family.
