Co-parenting dynamics in Kenya often resemble a battlefield rather than a harmonious collaboration. Despite the global trend of evolving into responsible adults with good manners, the Kenyan context seems to have missed that memo. Instead of fostering amicable relationships with the parents of their children, animosity and ill wishes prevail.
In this setting, some men go to great lengths, even quitting jobs, to evade their child support responsibilities, while women resort to social media to explore the possibility of removing the father’s name from the birth certificate. Legal battles for custody ensue, leaving behind a trail of bitterness and resentment, making it challenging for single individuals to navigate the dating scene with those who prioritize revenge over their children’s well-being.
In an ideal scenario, children should experience the presence of two healthy parents who exemplify the dynamics of a happy home. However, in Kenya, co-parents exchange their children like contraband on Friday evenings, meeting in parking lots with minimal courtesy. Instead of fostering healthy communication, co-parenting here often manifests as lengthy Facebook rants and live Instagram complaints about insufficient parental involvement.
Furthermore, co-parenting in Kenya involves online conflicts that could be resolved through simple conversations. The unwritten rule seems to be making the other parent’s life as challenging as possible. Weekend custody becomes a tool for punishment rather than a time for children to bond with both parents. This situation is particularly precarious for women dating men with children, as they may find themselves caught in the crossfire of blame between the baby mama and the baby daddy.
The blame game intensifies when irresponsible behavior from the baby daddy surfaces, with the blame unjustly shifting to the woman he is with. Such accusations often divert accountability and responsibility away from the father. Men with multiple children from different mothers are viewed with skepticism, as it suggests a pattern of irresponsibility rather than mere mistakes.
This lack of discipline and control over fertility can extend to other aspects of their lives, potentially resulting in complications such as unwanted pregnancies outside of the relationship. This behavior raises concerns about a person’s ability to prioritize relationships and exercise self-control, making them a risky choice for a long-term commitment.
Moreover, baby daddies often exhibit a sense of entitlement over their baby mamas, making it challenging for them to fully let go and move on. Even when seemingly moved on, they may express anger or jealousy when the mothers of their children pursue new relationships. This constant emotional entanglement makes dating a man with children a complex and potentially explosive situation.
In conclusion, co-parenting in Kenya reflects a tumultuous landscape filled with conflicts, blame games, and a lack of accountability. Navigating relationships with individuals who have children requires careful consideration of the potential challenges and complexities that may arise from this explosive landmine.
