It’s a continuous challenge living with post-traumatic stress disorder, and I have suffered from it for most of my life.
I can look back and gently laugh at all the people who thought I had the perfect life. I was young beautiful and talented, but unbeknownst to them.
I was terrorized by undiagnosed debilitating mental illness. The illness was triggered by several traumas, including a childhood laced with physical, mental and sexual abuse, as well as an attack at knifepoint.
That left me thinking I was going to die, I would never be the same after the attack. For me there was no safe place in the world, not even my home, I went to the police and filed a report.
Rape councilors came to see me while I was in hospital, but I declined their help, convinced that I dint need it. This would be the damaging decision of my life.
For months after the attack, I couldn’t close my eyes without envisioning the face of my attacker. I suffered horrific flash backs and night mares. For four years after the attack I was unable to sleep alone in my house.
I obsessively checked windows, doors, and locks. By age of 18, I’d suffered my first panic attack. Soon I became unable to leave my apartments for weeks at a time, ending my modeling career abruptly.
This just became a way of life. Years passed when I had few or no symptoms at all, and I led what I thought was a fairly normal life, just thinking I had a panic problem.
Then another traumatic event triggered the illness. It was as if the past had evaporated. And I was back in my place of attack, only now I had uncontrollable thoughts of someone entering my house and harming my child.
I saw violent images every time I closed my eyes. I lost all the ability to concentrate or even complete simple task. I stopped trying to make friends or get involved in my community.
I often felt disoriented, forgetting where, or who, I was. I would panic or the freeways and became unable to drive, again ending a career. I felt as if I had completely lost my mind.
For a time, I managed to keep it together on the outside, but then I became unable to leave my house again. Around this time I was first diagnosed with the illness.
I cannot express to you the enormous relief I felt when I discovered my condition was real and terrible, I felt a little bit relieved the first time in 35years.
Taking medication and undergoing behavioral therapy marked the turning point in my regaining control of my life.
I’m rebuilding a satisfying career as a teacher, before I completed my teaching practice, the illness that is associated with nightmares, returned this timeround it was terrible, I could not sleep at night, the moment I tried to close my eyes, I could see images that were fearful something that kept my eyes wide open the night.
At day time I could not concentrate in class, so I got nothing from lectures, I decided to quit school. This was the second course I had dropped, things were not easy indeed.
The illness reached its complex stages and as of late my symptoms have been getting worse and more extreme than ever. I have been to the doctor and the only solution they can offer me is giving me sleeping pills.
In my opinion both are not something that I want. Because over time I may get addicted to the sleeping pills and at the end be difficult to get sleep minus them.
I visited hospital after hospital with no cure. i became hopeless with a lot questions in my mind with no answers, Why me? Was I born this way, by then I was an adult so I decided to keep it to myself because people who brought me up, were irresponsible in care taking at my childish ages.
One fine evening as I was surfing on the internet I came across an advert on www.kiwangadoctors.com , they had advertised that they had the power to end night mares in just a day, I had suffered a lot and new that that was my only solution to getting better.
I booked an appointment and in two hours time I called him and explained my condition. He promised to end the night mares I was experiencing, in two days.
After the said days I was feeling better. I gained my sleep back, with No nightmares again, Credit to kiwanga doctors.
I advise anyone with nightmare conditions to visit kiwanga doctors and get the healing immediately, every problem has a solution.
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For consultations call +254 769404965 / E-mail: email@example.com or visit the website»» www.kiwangadoctors.com